Spiritpaw of thunderclan ( unfinished)

[~*[S]hudde[R]*~]

Name:Spiritpaw

Gender:she-cat

rank: apprentice

Clan: Shadowclan

age: 6 moons

description: white with gray patches and blue eyes. has a gray -blue quarter moon on her head and also has a gray-blue lightning bolt on her right cheek and has one that looks like a cloud on her rightcheek. Spiritpaw has 3 white paws and her front right paw is gray, Her eyes are also strange for somtimes they will change color when she is mad ( changes to dark green) or sad (dark blue) when she is exited green, and when she is feeling mixed up and has no clue what to do they will get mixed up all in one.some say she looks like she has a stong connection with starclan because of the markings on her face. she has very short fur, she looks like a very sweet cat, but watch her tounge!


short description: A pretty gray and white she-cat with deep blue eyes like pools of water.

accessories: none

personality: Spiritpaw is a very clam cat who rarly ever panicks,She is very quiet and can sneek up on anyone or anything.because she is soo small she is very fast, maybe even fastest in thunderclan.she was named spiritpaw because she had a big spirit and was always loving and caring.but because she was not clan-born others always under-estimated her, so Spiritpaw showed her spirit and trained hard to become a part of the clan. she has a very powerful connection with starclan and often dreams about them.

history: Spiritpaw was not clanborn she was brought to the clan by her father after a bad attack by some rouges when she was 6moons old, Spiritpaws father knew about the clans and thought it would be safer for punt ( her name before she was brought to shadowclan) to live there, during the rouge attack Punts mother Alla died trying to protect her after the rouge killed her he went after Punts sister Ruby and killed her also ( thats what Punts fater said anyway) Punt was left alone with thhe rouge he took one swipe at her and she ducked but he still hit her leaving her lightning scar that was when her father chased away the rouge and took punt to the clans. she left all her friends at the twoleg place, she was a loner with no friends and a clan full of cats she knew nothing about. Punts father left her there and went to recover what was left of their home and he promised her that he would come back for her someday. she still has no friends in the clan and feels like nobosy trusts her either, so she became a med-cat to prove she could be somone, and starclan has granted her that wish to learn what she can and prove she is somone not just a loner with no friends.. or maybe she does not want friends, because she is very hostile to people she doesnt know or doesnt trust, and she trusts no one. she often hears voices in her head that no one else hears.

Rp: Punt looked up at the moon then back to look at her father "
father where are we going?"
Punts father looked down on her " somwhere where you can be safer away from rouges "
what happened to Ruby and mama?"
Punts fathers eyes clouded with sorrow" in...in...in a better place dont you worry about them you will see them somday
again"
"when father when will I see them again is it someday soon?" her father shook his head " no it wont be now come my kit lets get going or we wont make it to the marsh before the night is over"


Punt and her father made it into shadowclan territory where he led her to a place that smelt like alot of cats mixed together, they walked into a clearing where there were many cats just sitting there washing each other as Punt and her father pasted the cats would look up and stare at them as they walked past. Punt waited as her father talked to the leader of this.. so called camp she was in. most of the cats stared at her, and she stared right back, uggg.. how long would she be here for? she didnt like it one bit. her father came out of the leaders den and told her she was now named spiritpaw and would train to be a warrior.
other: none

[[R] a v e n]

Don't forget the Bio form. ^_^

[~*[S]hudde[R]*~]

ok! thanks I'll try not to

[Sasha]

Looks good! I have a few things, though, I'd like to address:
Rank: No more med cat aprentices, sorry 'bout that.
Markings: They're a tad...unnatural. She can have many patches of color along her back or something, and then those certain patches that LOOK similar to a star/moon/cloud. The star is probably the least realistic.
Eyes: Instead of pure black, maybe a very, very deep green? It could look exactly green, but we could just say it's a very deep green or blue. :3
Other things: Don't forget to use spell check [it's a useful tool for everyone I know, me too. ] and capitalize the start of every sentence and every name.
When two cats are talking, seperate the post into paragraphs. Example:
Cat One looked over at Cat Two. "Hey Cat Two!" he called.
"Hi Cat One!" she smiled. "How are you?"
And so on.
As for exclamation points and question marks, one is appropriate. :3 "?!", "!", "?" If they say it in a different tone than usual, say so in the discription part of the post. :3

Soon as those are all fixed up and tidy, I'll move this to the roster. <3

[~*[S]hudde[R]*~]

oh.. I cant be a med cat apprentice then...f unny it was open yesterday, I'll fix up what I can though... weird when I looked it was open oh well....

[~*[S]hudde[R]*~]

ack! I have to change evrything!!!

[Sasha]

Yeah, sorry about the false hope. x __x"
I was waiting for Raven to give the a-okay to the other apprentice before I added the name.

You don't HAVE to change everything if you don't want to, just remember that for future reference. <3

[~*[S]hudde[R]*~]

okies thanks