I can only WISH

[[R] a v e n]

I am not mad, I am not pissed, I do not hate you. But what truly is a friend? Someone emotionally close? An ally? An......acquaintance? No, to me a friend is one that will stick by your side, ask 'WTF man? Are you ok? If he did something I'll kick his arse! Wait? Was it me? Sorry!' Not someone that asks 'WHY ARE YOU MAD AT ME? Actually I don't care'. I simply want a friend that cares about me. But is that impossible? Two more damned years I say, two more damned years in this hell hole and then I am out of this jock school. I was friends with you, and as a friend I 'hearted' you. I cared for you as a friend, nothing more, nothing less. HOW COULD YOU? You may blame me. For ignoring you. For shrugging. For not giving an f'ing answer. But you know what? You are not my friend. I don't have any 'best friends', you drug me down, and made me feel...sad.

I didn't know it, but the other day when I ignored you what did you do? You asked 'so why are you mad at me?' When I shrugged you didn't talk to me again. Me? What the shit did I do every time you were upset? I asked 'Whats wrong?' 'You ok?' 'Did I do something?' 'I'm sorry...' I APOLOGIZED, I was a FRIEND. You called yourself fat, I insisted that you weren't. You complained about your family, I agreed and cursed at them with you. I HAD YOUR DAMNED BACK. Would you have mine? I'm not quite sure. It seems like...like you used me. 'Can you pick me up to save gas?' Sure why not! But WTF? You never did anything like that for me! I helped you with chores so we could hang out, I helped you with homework so we could rp or talk! I went to your damned club crap on the weekend cause I was an f'ing friend.

You may think I'm shit, or crap or whatever. But I no longer care! I have a few of the people I looked down on when I was friends with you, but why did I do that? Because...well I don't know, but I think it was because you get into peoples minds....almost.....influence them beyond themselves. I 'HEART' my peeps, do they ditch me? WILL THEY SHOW UP? Damned as well they do, on time or before as well. I will NEVER trust you or be your friend again. May I jump off a cliff if I try. I need positive people that can take a joke, ones that get me. Ones I can rely on.

So I 'heart' you ol' bud our time has come to an end. Don't hate me cause I don't hate you. But keep this in mind. 'I don't care' isn't exactly a way to get a friend back. My response to you?

I don't care anymore either.[/color]